6 Easy Ways to Tell Thai Spiderman from the Real Thing

You see some strange things in Thailand sometimes, but the weirdest I’ve come across lately would have to be the crazy Spiderman comic mural on the wall of a little watering hole in Pai called the Don’t Cry Bar.

See if you can spot what’s wrong with this picture:

Foul language, a rare Hitler cameo and references to superhero homosexuality - Thai Spidey's got it all!

First of all, good luck raking a coherent storyline out of this mess. Each panel barely has anything to do with one preceding it. That aside, here’s 6 more things that struck this Carrot as being a tad off:

#1 – Bizarre Allegiance to Hitler

Somehow it's doubtful Marvel signed off on this

Forgiving Spidey’s sudden lapse of basic grammar, what’s he doing rescuing Hitler of all people from this potty-mouthed villain? Cleaning up the dialogue a bit, he’s apparently demanding the bad man “Let Hitler go!” Let Hitler go? Who’s Spiderman going to rescue next? Idi Amin?

"I abused da human rights of over 100,000 - SAVE ME Spiderman!"

#2 – Appears to Have Alzheimer’s

First he tries to save history's vilest monster, then he forgets where he is

Spiderman is known for being a pretty nimble fellow. Are we to believe he couldn’t outrun one henchman with a crappy excuse for a porn moustache as he drags a reluctant Hitler behind him? That can’t be much chase he was giving. Also, what’s with the prophetic note in the background declaring there’s no peace in 2012? Maybe it’s trying to say all Mercedes will be banned next year. No wonder Spidey’s getting confused.

#3 – No Regard for Anonymity

A-Ha indeed

Like all sensible superheros, Original Spiderman wears a mask whenever he heads out to fight crime in order to protect his true identity. Evidently Thai Spiderman doesn’t give two s#%ts about that though — not when there’s random floozies about. So much for being hung up on Mary Jane as well, err …unless that’s supposed to be her.

#4 – Random Panels

What better way to demonstrate your love for a woman than by dislocating her right shoulder?

What’s going on here? Who are these people? And what business is it of theirs if Spiderman wants to grab a little strange on the job? Is that some kind of hand-puppet monster in the background? Why is that guy attempting to crush his girlfriend? This panel raises more questions than it answers.

#5 – Illogical Cameos

Spiderman fights the real enemy: good guys

Sure, Wolverine and Spiderman are both Marvel creations, but do they really belong in the same strip together? Moreover, what kind of beef could Spiderman possibly have with Wolverine? It just doesn’t add up.

Let’s recap: Spiderman and everyone around him forgets how to speak English properly. Hitler’s ditched the bowl job for a crew cut and he’s pals with an awful-looking Peter Parker, who suffers from memory loss, doesn’t care who sees him with his mask off and is ready to brawl to the death with Wolverine for no reason at all. How to top all that off?

#6 – Gratuitous Homosexual References

Of course

Well, how about by revealing that Wolverine possesses a burning homosexual love for Spiderman to the point of writing an entire book about it. I like how he refers to Spiderman as the “Rastaman.” I didn’t even know he was Jamaican. I guess after finding out he was a Nazi sympathiser way back in panel #1 nothing surprises me any more.


About Cranky Carrot

Half-assed travel blogger and burger connoisseur.
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