Everything’s gonna be All-White

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So you’re supposed to wear all white clothing during the vegetarian festival, like the good people in the picture above. Unfortunately the only white t-shirt in my cupboard looked like this…

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The Meat Man Shirt

…which obviously might not be considered the most appropriate attire during a festival dedicated to purity through vegetarianism. At the very least it would just be confusing, so I forked out three bucks and bought a white singlet instead.

Wearing white seems like a bad idea when you’re going to be ramming sharpened spears and such through your face. Hell, I avoid wearing it when I’m about to chow down on spaghetti bolognese — you just know it’s going to get messy.

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The over-sized novelty chopsticks were quickly recalled from the market

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Word to your Mother…

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“Wanna taste my Mother?” – Wow, that sounds like all kinds of wrong.

Constant readers,

Would have posted more about that wacky Vegetarian Festival and all things travel, but I’ve been busy moving country. Again. Anyway, I might try and post a new pic every day or so just to get through the backlog. Blogging is way high on my list of priorities right now. Right after trimming my nose hairs and washing the garbage.

Meanwhile, here’s a picture of a man taking his impression of a human vacuum cleaner just a little bit too far:

 

 

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Crazy Piercings – They Ain’t Faking It

Just in case there were any doubting Thomas’s out there, allow this Carrot to assure you the Vegetarian Festival body mutilations are not fake.

These aren’t a bunch of yo yo’s running around with plastic joke arrows through their heads (ala the crude sketch below)

Not Happening: This

The fact of the matter is I took these pictures with my very own busted-ass iPhone 3GS and my Photoshop skills are, at best, sub-crud. It’s all real — and apparently, as long as you follow the 10 principles of the Vegetarian Festival, you can perform these otherwise painful feats without any ill-effects. Just like the 10 Commandments, only with more metal junk and stuff through the face.

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So that’s where my bed posts got to

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More Vegetarian Festival 2012 Madness!

Chasing three 10mg Diazepam pills with a few shots of Hong Thong whisky seemed like a fantastic way to get to sleep early — being able to wake up by 4am the next day, not so much. Unfortunately this meant I arrived at the Kathu shrine some three hours late for the morning procession. All that was left were a few tables full of pineapples, a bunch of expired fire crackers on the ground and a road block made up of wayward buffalo.

Pineapples: SO much more interesting when their protruding through some guy’s bloodied jowl

Normally, I’d cracker joke about now

First I get every red light on the way here, and and now this

Fortunately I’d taken some 237 photographs and videos of crazy, knife-through-the-face action at the Bang Neow shrine the day before, so there’s plenty more of that stuff to post, trust me. If you’re a fan of human voodoo dolls and personified pin cushions, stay tuned.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, unless it’s affixed to a giant pole rammed through your face

– CC

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Phuket Vegetarian Festival 2012

Phuket Vegetarian Festival 2012

What could be duller than a whole festival centred around people who prefer broccoli and potatoes to delicious pork chops and plump steaks? Well, probably not much, unless that festival is taking place in Thailand and has less to do with vegetables and more to do with sticking razor sharp objects through your face.

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“Next time I’LL hold the flag”

The Vegetarian Festival in Phuket runs for about a week and, as brochures have it, has something to do with cleansing the town of evil spirits. This is achieved by abstaining from sex, alcohol and meat-eating. Ironically people also celebrate the vegetarian festival by turning their heads into human shish-kebabs. I guess it’s hard to salivate at the prospect of a juicy burger dripping with tomato sauce when some guy is bleeding profusely from a harpoon through the cheek.

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Rumours of Somjai’s bravery quickly spread by sword-of-mouth

These pictures were taken in and around the Bang Neow shrine in Phuket Town early on the 20th of October. They have several such processions over the course of a few days but you have to rise bright and early if you want to see any of the good stuff. I’m talking 5am-7am. For a guy who considers getting up at noon to be an early start to the day, it was quite a pain to get there on time. Of course, not quite as much of a pain as this though:

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Thepnakon couldn’t decide what to mutilated himself with, so he took a pole

More gruesome pics to come…

– CC

21.10.12

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You know you’re a moron when…

You know you’re a moron when…

…you feel compelled to respond to internet survey banners like this one:

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I guess they’re toning it down after the controversy sparked by yesterday’s question about who’s in the wrong over the Israeli-Palestine conflict.

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Ladyboys and Gentlemen…

So I like to sit down and write a new post about once every never, but I felt like tooling around with the blog a bit today so I’m breaking from my usual laziness silence to do an update.

I notice that even when you don’t bother to contribute anything for months on end, you still get a few blips of web interest here and there:

Might not look much, but I still get more viewers than Channel 10 has lately

Nothing to write home about, but it does seem weird how some days, out of the blue, you’ll get a spike for no apparent reason. When I set out to put this thing together, I wanted to share my experiences travelling throughout South East Asia and the deep philosophical insights that can provide. However, it turns out the only thing people seem to give a shit about is ladyboys. And lots of them.

A quick snapshot of the list showing search terms people used to get to this site shows the top three referral keywords to be; “Ladyboy,” “Ladyboys,” and…

….”Thai Ladyboy.”

When I saw 6 weirdos viewed my blog on Friday, it made it all worthwhile

…Well, those and “Pug harness.” I know this only amounts to six searches total, but for this blog that’s a motza. Anyway, it’s the same basic trend every time I check the stats, so who am I not to give the people what they want:

One of the following is a boner-fide ladyboy:

Clue: It’s not the old lady or the little boy

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